A Skunk In Goshen

My sister in law, Bernadette, called from her house down the street to inform me with some urgency that she thought Seamus "might have been sprayed by a skunk."

Seamus is my dog and he has long, long, long, very thick fur. He's half Chow, half German Shepard. Might have been sprayed by a skunk was not a place I wanted to ever go. Was there any question?

Bern had been over at our house with my two nieces, Isabelle and Margot, to watch reruns of "The Waltons" and when they left, they thought it might be nice to have Seamus come to their house for a sleepover. How nice.

At some point in the evening after they got home, Bern thought it might also be nice if she and Seamus took a walk in their field behind the house. I now question the wisdom of this decision.



When I got the call, she wasn't sure where Seamus was. This alarmed me. She saw what she believed to be an all-white skunk. Seamus had chased it. Now she couldn't find the dog.

I informed her that I would come right down, so I got in my car and raced down. My first concern was that the dog was okay, but when I got there and exited the car, the entire area reeked unbelievably. Of course, Seamus was right there to greet me so there was no mystery as to where he was. Then of course, there was the smell.

The first thing I did was to grab a hold of his neck, which was wet, and then hold my hand up to my nose. Now while the entire area absolutely reeked of skunk, the hand that I held up to my nose smelled terribly, but not like you'd think. In fact, believe it or not, at first I wasn't exactly sure he'd been sprayed. It smelled more like urine.

I was wrong.

I've since read that it doesn't take long to suffer from what scientists call, "olfactory fatigue." The smell of skunk spray is so strong, that almost instantly you can't smell it. The brain blocks it out. All you who doubt this may come visit me sometime, and I'll take you skunk hunting. You walk in front of course.

Regardless, it didn't take long to figure out that:
1. Seamus had in fact been sprayed.
2. Bernadette had let him into the house afterwards
3. That her house smelled like fresh skunk spray.
4. Sooner or later, we were going to have to give him a bath.

My night was getting better by the minute.

So we took him to the outdoor shower where we proceeded to lather him up with shampoo, especially around the neck and head which, fortunately for me, was at my end of the dog body. I really do get all the breaks.

When we were done, Seamus might have been a little cleaner, but I don't think he smelled any better. I on the other hand, decidedly smelled much worse. I can only imagine what Bern smelled like.

I borrowed Bern's Honda Element and drove Seamus back to our house where I was confident he could at least sleep the night off in our backyard (he certainly wasn't coming into the house).



When I walked into the living room and greeted my 13-year-old stepson Ricky and his friend, they nearly gagged. I had obviously already achieved olfactory fatigue, so I was a bit surprised. I promptly threw my clothes in the washing machine.

"Hmmm," I thought, "I guess I really do have some of it on me."

I woke Jane up and informed her of my predicament, after which she informed me that the best course of action was tomato juice. Then she rolled over and went back to sleep.

Unfortunately, we did not have tomato juice. But we did have V-8. It would have to do. So I took a six-pack of little tiny cans from the fridge and headed to the shower.

I've got to tell you that V-8, direct from the fridge, is quite cold, and not particularly pleasant. And as I found out afterward, completely ineffective.

Even in my sorry state of olfactory fatigue, I could tell that I hadn't quite gotten rid of the smell, so I decided to go online and see what people who'd gone before me had done.

Here's the first thing I read:

"TOMATO JUICE DOES NOT WORK. Bathing an animal in tomato juice seems to work because at high doses of skunk spray the human nose quits smelling the odor (olfactory fatigue). When this happens, the odor of tomato juice can easily be detected. A person suffering olfactory fatigue to skunk spray will swear that the skunk odor is gone and was neutralized by the tomato juice. Another person coming on the scene at this point will readily confirm that the skunk spray has not been neutralized by the tomato juice."

Thanks. I was coming to that conclusion on my own. What next?

Well, for all you who are wondering, and I'm sure there are plenty of you, here is the proper way to rid A DOG of skunk odor:

1 quart (or liter) of 3% Hydrogen Peroxide, H2O2.
You must use fresh (unopened) hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) as hydrogen peroxide eventually turns into water (H2O).
? 1/4 cup (50 ml.) of Baking Soda
? 1 teaspoon (5 ml.) of Liquid Soap
? 1 pair of plastic or latex gloves

Great. A solution for a dog. Nice touch on the gloves there. At this point I was desperate. I'd try anything.

First, I found some hydrogen peroxide in the medicine cabinet. One quarter of a small bottle. Certainly nothing close to a liter, but what the hell. Second, some baking soda. Finally dishwashing liquid.

Screw the measurements. I emptied everything I had into a bowl, swished it around and began scrubbing my hands and arms (the parts that, as far as I could tell, had been effected).

I don't think it worked. It was supposed to bubble and foam. It didn't.

First off, the directions called for FRESH H2O2. Who knows how long that crap had been sitting in my bathroom. Years? Second, I didn't have nearly enough. In another post, I read that the above concoction is good for a dog the size of a Jack Russell Terrier. I am decidedly bigger. Also, just in case you're wondering, this treatment can also bleach the hair of the dog permanently.

At this point in the story (if you're still reading this), you might be asking yourself, why on earth am I up at 12:24am writing? Well to be honest, I can't stand the smell in my nose, which I assume is also on my body, and I don't really know what to do with myself. I have lived for many years in the boonies and the smell of skunk is not unknown to me. I have even been around my fair share of sprayed dogs. But NEVER have I experienced anything like this. Seamus must have been dead square in the skunk's path when he was sprayed. Up close and personal, as it were. As far as I can tell, his entire head and neck were sprayed full on. I must have gotten this all over my hands. So did Bern. The effect is overwhelming and completely indescribable.

So, for those of you whom I work with, I'm not going to be able to come into work tomorrow. Nor, do I think you'd want me to. For the rest of you, I simply thought you might like a laugh at my expense.

Tomorrow, when the pharmacies open, I will be going myself, or sending a family member, to get the ingredients for a de-skunking bath. First, I'll do the dog, then maybe my sister in law, then me. Wish me luck.